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Saturday, March 11th, 2006
11:26 am - Viva la trowel!

In a similiar attempt to revive this place, I will post my survey answers in a new post!
Does that make me a rebel?

1.If you could choose any name for yourself, what would it be? I like the name I have. My parents almost named me Jessica, and I guess that name would fit me. It feels right. But I'm Lauren. That's who I am, and I won't change it.

2. What is the most random word you can think of right now? Defenestration.

3. Post a story involving this word.
She leaned out the window, looking down at the sidewalk twenty-seven stories below. All that way down, at his body sprawled on the pavement like shattered china. Fine, broken china.
"Defenestration," she said, giggling as she closed the dictionary behind her.
Curiousity really did kill the cat.

4. Name three things you love about snow. One, it clings to my hair and eyelashes, which makes me feel beautiful. Two, it makes everything clean and pure. Nothing is dirty in snow. And to conclude, it unifies everything. When snow falls, everything is coated in white, and for once everything in the world has something in common.

current mood: complacent

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10:09 am - Life, I say! Give my creature LIFE!!!

What happened to this community, guys? It looks like someone stabbed it through the heart with a spork! Or a basilisk tooth...hehe.

Just to see who's actually still reading these, I shall post a survey.

1.If you could choose any name for yourself, what would it be?
2. What is the most random word you can think of right now?
3. Post a story involving this word.
4. Name three things you love about snow.

Yeah, ok, I'm bored. Shut up.


current mood: snow!

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Friday, August 12th, 2005
12:15 pm - And While I'm At it...

*shouts into darkness* 

Oh my god. What kind of people are you, to leave a poor, defenseless community neglected like this? 
It's criminal, I tell you. 

Well, I guess I have no choice but to: 

SING!!! (moohaha)

Where has my love gone
how can I go on?
it seems dear love has gone away.
Where is my spirit
I'm nowhere near it
oh yes my love has gone astray.
But I'll blame it on the sun
the sun that didn't shine.
I'll blame it on the wind and the trees
I'll blame it on the time that never was enough
I'll blame it on the tide and the sea
But my heart blames it on me.
Who poured the love out
what made this bitter doubt
is peace not here for me to see?
Wish I could tell you what I am feeling
but words won't come for me to speak.
But I'll blame it on th sun
that didn't fill the sky
I'll blame it on the birds and the trees
I'll blame it on the day that ended once too soon
I'll blame it on the nights that could not be
But my heart blames it on me. 
~Stevie Wonder, Blame it on the Sun

current mood: amused

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Monday, August 8th, 2005
9:01 pm - Hohoho...hello?

In the immortal quote from THE TITANIC:

Don't ask why I capslocked that. I just did. Hooha.

Ya'll should read "The Eyre Affair" by Jasper Fforde. I just finished it. It's awesome. I think Madeline and Mackenzie will like it in particular. :)
It's about this Special Opperative (SpecOp) named Thursday Next. She actually travels *into* Jane Eyre. So awesome. SO AWESOME. CAPS LOCK!!!!(!!!!)


School is arriving quickly. I can see it as a cloud on the horizon. I can't decide if it's blotting out the sun or not.
I guess time will tell.

'Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it.
I'll keep singing this lie ,
I'll keep singing this lie .
Are we growing up or just going down?
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out.
Take our tears and put them on ice,
'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light.

current mood: content

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Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
11:21 am - We're all a family, Under one sky, we're a family under one sky...

Bleh. I am so tired. I slept in until 1 yesterday. It was awesome. I love not having to wake up at 5:30, squished against a wet tent.
Here is what I learned at Camp St. Mary's:
1. Ticks DON'T DIE. No matter how much you smash them with a rock. I'm serious. It's terrifying.
2. Never trust a junior counselor with your kids.
3. Little kids are really really gullible.
4. Jumping out of a paddleboat without first checking to see how deep the water is is probably not a good idea.
5. Vantage points!
6. Camp songs have an amazing ability to NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
7. Bathrooms should never be taken for granted. Thank God I didn't have to use those Port-A-Pottys...they smelled from about 200 feet away.
8. I hate waiting in line.
9. Don't let your campers have food of any kind in their tent, because it will inevitably get stolen and then there will be a big fight about WHO ate it.
10. Demolition is the funnest thing ever.
11. It pays to help make s'mores...free chocolate! Oh yes!
12. Mariachi music is awesome.
13. If the other people in your tent blatantly block you out with the tent wall, they probably think you are extremely weird. Especially if you balance water bottles on your stomach.
14. Little kids have REALLY short attention spans. Also, they never listen to you.
15. Dumping water on the camp director is always funny.
16. Never lose sight of your campers, because for all you know, they could be eating a handful of bark chips. (That actually happened to Jill...)

current mood: groggy

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Friday, July 8th, 2005
12:33 pm - You will be sorry some day, yes you will, yes you will

98 degrees and nothing else is normal.
I feel useless. It is an exciting feeling.
AND I WILL NEVER WEAR PANTS AGAIN. *runs around in a baggy shirt* Take that, padre.

I want to write. I don't know what to write. And I'm too afraid to ruin it again.

Now I'm big and important,
One angry dwarf
and two hundred solemn faces
are you.
If you really want to see me,
Check the papers and the TV.
Look who's tellin who what to do.
Kiss my ass goodbye.

-Ben Folds Five

current mood: crappy

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Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
3:45 pm - Driving...or Lack of it?

My Holy Jesus! This community looks like someone whacked it over the head with a herring!

This looks like a job for.....Carpet-Hair Girl!!!!

So I was thinking about how it will be when I get my permit. My piano teacher thinks that I'll be one of those kids that get arrested right out of the DMV for crashing into baby ducklings or driving with their feet. Thanks Mrs. Beterbide. Actually, I get this feeling that I'll be more like one of those grumpy old ladies that smell like asparagus and drive 30 mph under the speed limit and have little cat bobbleheads in their rear window. I'm serious. When I went driving with my dad, I wouldn't go above 10 mph. My dad was like, " Madeline, why don't you try and go faster?" And I was like, " Are you frikkin INSANE???!!! I'm barely able to keep the car from going berserk and molesting pigeons RIGHT NOW!!!" And he would scoff at my blatant loserness. Now that I think about it, it's extremely sad that a man who plays the accordion...no wait, BRAGS about playing the accordion would call me a loser. But then again, he is my father. Oh dear. Then I started freaking out because the car was going down an extremely small hill. The second the speedometer hit 11 mph, I was screaming, " OHMYGOD WHY IS THE CAR SPEEDING UP ARGH WE'RE GOING TO DIE AND OUR BONES WILL BE PICKED CLEAN BY HOMELESS PEOPLE!!!!" Actually, if I ever DO get a ticket, it will be because I caused the people behind me to die of boredom while waiting for me to speed up. So basically, I am a complete failure at being a normal teenager. Except for the hormones. And the obnoxiousness. And the sarcasm.
Ah well, you can't win all the time.

Jack Johnson is my love and I want to marry him!

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Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
8:30 pm - Who Cares What They're Wearing On Main Street and Saville Row

So sanitor
So janitor
So long for a while
But honey
You're never fully dressed
Without a smile
Your clothes may be
They stand out a mile
But honey
You're Never Fully Dressed Without a SMILE!
Smile boys, smile!

Happy almost birthday JORDAN/HORDAN GRACE THE LOBSTER!!!!
I <3 you!

current mood: bouncy

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Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
8:21 pm - Un useful objects

I was tying to figure out what the most UNusefull object of human civiliztion is. And I thought of a couple.
-Vacum cleaner (why do houses have to be clean anyway, if every house was dirty, then it would be the social norm to have a dirty house.)
-Hummer H2, whats the point in having a hummer if it doesn't even have all the great features? (i.e the military hummers are known for the all wheel suspension and rear wheel steering.) H2 does not have those things. And plus they use about 1/2 of our oil supply every time they get gas.

thats all I can think of right now. Feel free to post your ideas.

Hallaleuha Sludge is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thursday, May 12th, 2005
8:06 pm - Public Service Announcement.

I am not as insane as you all think I am!

...Oh wait. I lied.

I wrote a song for Sludge today. I don't think Mr. B would be very impressed.
"I'm gettin' high in Science...
I think it's the fumes of HCl...
I think I've finally gone insane,
Is that isopropyl I smell?"

current mood: Sludge makes me CRRRAZY

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Sunday, May 8th, 2005
7:20 pm

Thanks Mad, now this freaking song is tuck in my head! Thats ok I guess because it is a pretty good song. Man, I used to be so obssesed wiht this song. Wee catch y'all later, got to go do my spanish oral!!!!!

Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time - turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time - one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from.
Closing time - this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits - I hope you have found
Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send.

Yeah, I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send...

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2:10 pm - Closing Time/One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer

YES! I got hit in the head with an egg today!

This song rocks my world...See if you can find your horoscope.
Your Horoscope for Today~Weird Al
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
Speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole seventeen hours a

Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus
You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
Watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep

You will never find tru happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
Back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through
Your chest

The position of jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in
The mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's

Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's
Face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of
Strawberry quik

All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
Relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
Significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
You my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid,
Scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
To reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true.

Where was i?

A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts
Next week

Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of ernest borgnine you've got hanging in
Your den

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know
They're lying
If i were you, i's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never
Leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

current mood: happy

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Friday, May 6th, 2005
4:40 pm

Hola Mad Hatter, I am now an official member of this community!Hoo-rah!!!! Anyways, I really do like Peanut butter. But oh well! Ok...well...umm...I don't know what else to say, so I'm going to be on my way now!! Catch ya later @ first Friday for everyone thats going!!


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Thursday, May 5th, 2005
9:12 pm - The tale of Sir Lancelot...

Hello. This is your captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for concern.

Random peoplez, and Maddy, I come in peace.
I know the creator of the community! BOW BEFORE MY MIGHT.
I listenz to musicz and make funny jokez and put z instead of s on the end of wordz. lollllz.

Yeah. I go away now.

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love."
-Charlie Brown

The wings are not on fire!

current mood: amused

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7:39 pm

Hello to all you random people out there looking for something to occupy your time with. This isn't it.
I swear. This journal is basically a completely pointlessly made thing. You really should just leave.

If you're still reading this, I assume you actually are interested (aka bored as hell) and I will now drone on about how great this site will be once I actually get people to join it.
Reasons You Should Join trowel_of_truth
1. It's what all the cool people do. Come on, you know you want to...
2. You can talk about pretty much anything, as long as it's not gross, mean, or rude.
3. You could *make new friends*!!!!! OMGLOLZ! HAHAHA. not.
4. You can read all of my sarcastic, cynical observations about the world.
5. You can randomly quote Monty Python and I will get it.
7. *heavy sarcasm*
8. This parrot is DECEASED!
9. You could have deep-thoughtprovoking discussions about peanut butter.

current mood: creative

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