band_girl86 (band_girl86) wrote in trowel_of_truth,

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Driving...or Lack of it?

My Holy Jesus! This community looks like someone whacked it over the head with a herring!

This looks like a job for.....Carpet-Hair Girl!!!!

So I was thinking about how it will be when I get my permit. My piano teacher thinks that I'll be one of those kids that get arrested right out of the DMV for crashing into baby ducklings or driving with their feet. Thanks Mrs. Beterbide. Actually, I get this feeling that I'll be more like one of those grumpy old ladies that smell like asparagus and drive 30 mph under the speed limit and have little cat bobbleheads in their rear window. I'm serious. When I went driving with my dad, I wouldn't go above 10 mph. My dad was like, " Madeline, why don't you try and go faster?" And I was like, " Are you frikkin INSANE???!!! I'm barely able to keep the car from going berserk and molesting pigeons RIGHT NOW!!!" And he would scoff at my blatant loserness. Now that I think about it, it's extremely sad that a man who plays the wait, BRAGS about playing the accordion would call me a loser. But then again, he is my father. Oh dear. Then I started freaking out because the car was going down an extremely small hill. The second the speedometer hit 11 mph, I was screaming, " OHMYGOD WHY IS THE CAR SPEEDING UP ARGH WE'RE GOING TO DIE AND OUR BONES WILL BE PICKED CLEAN BY HOMELESS PEOPLE!!!!" Actually, if I ever DO get a ticket, it will be because I caused the people behind me to die of boredom while waiting for me to speed up. So basically, I am a complete failure at being a normal teenager. Except for the hormones. And the obnoxiousness. And the sarcasm.
Ah well, you can't win all the time.

Jack Johnson is my love and I want to marry him!
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My dad says: "Well, at least the homeless people will be fed."
I went out driving today too, what a coinkidink! And my motto used to be "Twenty five miles per hour is my happy place" but today dad took me out into the back country (ie: boonies) where there are lots of curves and the speed limit is 35 mph. I was okay. My knuckles were white on the wheel, but I was okay! Then we hit the highway and had to go 55. Let me tell you, it's amazing how fast I can breath without passing out.
But then we went back to 20 mph in town and I felt slow.
Old granny drivers forever! *high five* Dad called me that. He's always going "Accelerate, Lauren. It's okay. Accelerate." DECELERATE, BEECHES!
Saweetness! I am proud of your mad acceleration skillz! I'm in awe. *grovel*

Granny drivers are indeed hott. *high fives back*
XD Zoomzoom--OMGTOOFAST!!!!*screeeech!*

Ye-yaaah! XD
Save me, Madeline.
Dad's taking me driving in the Suburban tomorrow.
The frickin' SUBURBAN.
Beware, Hood River...beware.
I hope you had fun!

Driving is terrifying. I think I'll just end up buying a golf cart, since those can't go faster than like 3 mph. Then I'll be safe.
Holy ba jeezes. SOmone had a LITTLe too much suga today! Or some other foreign object of a kind.

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I said that like 3 months ago when I went driving with mi papa in San Fransisco. I swear.